Death touches every person, not just once in a lifetime, but many times. Our grandparents, parents, spouses, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, cousins, children and our friends and neighbors die. We cannot escape the pain of loss. It is a major mistake to try to deny the feelings of emptiness and hurt that we feel, when someone we love has died. Death may force you to realize that for the first time in your life you have no control over what happens. This was extremely difficult for me, since I am a take charge type of person (that's just a nice way of saying I'm a control freak) and accustomed to having control over my life, and the lives of others.

Losing someone we love is never easy. It seems everywhere you turn there are constant reminders of our loved one. For many grieving people they need help in keeping themselves afloat while going through the emotional storms that accompany grief. This is not a sign of weakness.

First of all, take consolation in knowing that millions of others have survived what you are now feeling. Grief is painful and everyone who grieves can use a helping hand and a listening ear. While grief is a natural reaction to death, it is also highly individual. The grief you experience depends on a number of factors, such as your relationship with the person who died. The circumstances of the death also plays an important part on the intensity of grief. As the reality of the death sinks in, it is common to have feelings of helplessness. Grief can become all consuming and you may feel a combination of pain, fear and deep sadness. These are natural reactions to death. As the WINDS OF CHANGE die down, you will find that you will adjust to your new life and that there is life to be lived after death.

For additional information please contact Leslie A. Francisco, C.F.S.P. at 718-847-4244 or e-mail: lfrancisco@franciscofuneralhome.com

SOMETHING'S TO PONDER

Remember, Yesterday is the past. Tomorrow is the future. Today is a gift - that's why it's called 'The Present'.

Rabbi Earl Grollman once said:

"When we lose a parent, we lose our past. When we lose a spouse, we lose our present. And when we lose a child, we lose our future."